Wednesday, March 08, 2006
International Woman's Day, and I get fucked in the ass by 'the man.'
First, let me just say straight out that I am a law abider. Particularily in the area of traffic laws, I feel that we all have to work together to get from point A to point B alive, and so if the society I live in has selected fifty-five miles per hour as the speed limit then that's what I drive. I get better gas milage. I'm able to stop when small pets run out into the street. I'm a free man, and I choose to obey the traffic laws.
The cruel, sardonic bitches that we call the Fates must have really had a hoot with this one then.
Leaving the job site in a upper-middle class neighborhood, the streets all wind all over the fucking place and I just wanted to go home. Dusk was upon us, and then fucking cherries in the rear view. Guess I ran a stop sign the day after some fucker complained to the city that this had become a problem (yeah, it's that sort of neighborhood, where one complaint has a cop sitting there the next day.)
It was getting dark. I did not know the area. The cop admitted that I was going slow, 5 to 10 mph, and honest to fuck I did not have any Idea I drove through a stop sign.
I've got a clean record. I called the fat ass 'sir.' I was obviously a working man eating an apple; not some punk smoking a blunt or some distracted hausfrau yapping on a cell phone. This seems like the perfect time for a warning.
Nope, $132 dollar fine or a court date at the Carver County Courthouse. That's in fucking Chaska, and I live in St. Paul. So not only am I going to lose a day of work when I go to challenge this act of cosmic injustice, but just the fucking gas to drive out to the worthless edge of civilization will amount to half that fine anyways.
Either the pig had a quota he needed to fulfil (he couldn't even look me in the eye when he gave me the ticket, just shuffled off to his car with too many of the mannerisms of a broken man) or he was inclined to assume I'm a bad man since I hadn't shaved in five days.
See, I've got this new Idea where I'll have multiple icons of me-self on this blog, with the icon changing in hairyness with the cycle of the moon. Clean shaven and eloquent during the new phase. Bearded and full of testosterone enhanced aggression during the full moon. Cycles are important for the cultivation of Creativity. Well, I digress.
Grr.
I can't believe I got a ticket! I've talked my way out of dozen of tickets when I was a wild man. I drove the wrong way down a one-way and then parked my car in the motorcycle parking area and talked my way out of that. I flirted my way out of a ticket just last year. Have I lost my touch? Has my silver tongue grown tarnished by age and my growing disdain for so many of my fellow humans?
Must just have been that fucking cop. Irritated by indigestion and dulled to the world by a combination of high blood pressure and thick, walrus-like layers of fat; he sensed I might possess inner peace and so he lashed out.
I need to take a few deep breaths [ mj ] and exhale slowly. I refuse to let the spores of self-hate take root in my soul. Just because that fellow is stuck in a cycle of suffering, does not mean that this witty monkey needs to start mimiking him. It was my desire and expectation of a verbal warning that had me so pissed off - if I had just assumed that flashing lights meant a few less franklins in my wallet, I'd be pleasantly surprised now. Likewise, I should not set myself on any particular outcome from the court case when I contest this.
The cruel, sardonic bitches that we call the Fates must have really had a hoot with this one then.
Leaving the job site in a upper-middle class neighborhood, the streets all wind all over the fucking place and I just wanted to go home. Dusk was upon us, and then fucking cherries in the rear view. Guess I ran a stop sign the day after some fucker complained to the city that this had become a problem (yeah, it's that sort of neighborhood, where one complaint has a cop sitting there the next day.)
It was getting dark. I did not know the area. The cop admitted that I was going slow, 5 to 10 mph, and honest to fuck I did not have any Idea I drove through a stop sign.
I've got a clean record. I called the fat ass 'sir.' I was obviously a working man eating an apple; not some punk smoking a blunt or some distracted hausfrau yapping on a cell phone. This seems like the perfect time for a warning.
Nope, $132 dollar fine or a court date at the Carver County Courthouse. That's in fucking Chaska, and I live in St. Paul. So not only am I going to lose a day of work when I go to challenge this act of cosmic injustice, but just the fucking gas to drive out to the worthless edge of civilization will amount to half that fine anyways.
Either the pig had a quota he needed to fulfil (he couldn't even look me in the eye when he gave me the ticket, just shuffled off to his car with too many of the mannerisms of a broken man) or he was inclined to assume I'm a bad man since I hadn't shaved in five days.
See, I've got this new Idea where I'll have multiple icons of me-self on this blog, with the icon changing in hairyness with the cycle of the moon. Clean shaven and eloquent during the new phase. Bearded and full of testosterone enhanced aggression during the full moon. Cycles are important for the cultivation of Creativity. Well, I digress.
Grr.
I can't believe I got a ticket! I've talked my way out of dozen of tickets when I was a wild man. I drove the wrong way down a one-way and then parked my car in the motorcycle parking area and talked my way out of that. I flirted my way out of a ticket just last year. Have I lost my touch? Has my silver tongue grown tarnished by age and my growing disdain for so many of my fellow humans?
Must just have been that fucking cop. Irritated by indigestion and dulled to the world by a combination of high blood pressure and thick, walrus-like layers of fat; he sensed I might possess inner peace and so he lashed out.
I need to take a few deep breaths [ mj ] and exhale slowly. I refuse to let the spores of self-hate take root in my soul. Just because that fellow is stuck in a cycle of suffering, does not mean that this witty monkey needs to start mimiking him. It was my desire and expectation of a verbal warning that had me so pissed off - if I had just assumed that flashing lights meant a few less franklins in my wallet, I'd be pleasantly surprised now. Likewise, I should not set myself on any particular outcome from the court case when I contest this.
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Ironically, I got pulled over comeing home from your house the other day going down that hill on 13. Cop was sitting at the bottom of the hill. Said I was going 50 in a 40 but, after checking my record, gave me a warning.
Though, in the grand scheme of things, it IS starting to get towards "Spring". Luck Leech again?
Though, in the grand scheme of things, it IS starting to get towards "Spring". Luck Leech again?
# posted by 
: Friday, March 10, 2006 1:29:00 PM
: Friday, March 10, 2006 1:29:00 PM
i love living in a small town...i was in a hurry one time (for what ...who knows) and was going 50 in a 25...the chief of police...flipped his lite..(was coming at me the other way) pulled up side by side with me and said'slow the fuck down' and drove off...
When I was younger, I pulled the cute dumb blonde trick with many a cops. Never admitting to knowing what the speed limit was, never admitting to knowing how fast I was going and always calling them Sir.
Then I got busted with my radar detector out. That one gave me a ticket. The bastard. Luckily, the cute blonde trick worked on the judge and he accepted just defensive driving course in lieu of paying the ticket.
Discrimintation I tell ya!!! Now that I'm older and not cute, I would get a ticket in a heartbeat. Except, I'm not black, so that reduces the chances of me being pulled over. Sad, but true in this city.
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Then I got busted with my radar detector out. That one gave me a ticket. The bastard. Luckily, the cute blonde trick worked on the judge and he accepted just defensive driving course in lieu of paying the ticket.
Discrimintation I tell ya!!! Now that I'm older and not cute, I would get a ticket in a heartbeat. Except, I'm not black, so that reduces the chances of me being pulled over. Sad, but true in this city.
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