Wednesday, April 12, 2006
This is a damn shame
When I heard this story yesterday I felt like I had been stabbed. That's hyberbole, of course, I've cut myself plenty of times when I worked in the kitchens, but never had the experience of a cold, shaft of stainless steel sliding between my ribs. Emotional pain can be so intense, and unlike physical pain, often no rational cause can be indentified. These thoughts be dangerous ones, and if one dwells upon them too long, one might not find their way back to a swell spring day. Yet a boxer who has never taken a punch can't expect to be in fighting shape, a seeker must not shirk back too reflexively from the sorrows of empathy.
Anthony Soltero helped organized and lead his schoolmates in one of the countless walk-outs that occured in his native California and all over the country this March. On March 30th, a vice-principle took him aside and allegedly told him that there would be consequences for his actions as a protest leader. He would not be allowed to attend the school dance. He would not be allowed to attend graduation. He was going to spend 3 years in prison. His parents were going to be fined and investigated.
The fourteen year old boy called his mother when he got home in a terrible state. She told him that they would talk about it when she got home from work. When she got home, she found his note and his body. He had taken his own life.
I know that no amount of liberal education reform will ever eliminate the tragedy of teen suicide. The hormones get to racing and their insides still have not cooled. Public schools can be one of the destructive social environments that an American will endure it their entire life. It still fucking sucks.
I had a good friend who hung himself in a detention room his junior year. The only memory I have of him that makes any sense of it is a Boy Scout summer camp we had attended years before. Ryan was an adopted kid, and a fair number of the older boys took to calling him a nigger and chasing him around throwing sticks and rocks. By the time I became aware of what was going on, he had climbed about thirty feet up into a tree; crying but safe from projectiles. My balls hadn't dropped yet, I didn't know what to do, eventually an adult scout leader yelled at him to quit screwing around and get down. I've always thought that's what happened to him again later, he just got overcome - he felt like he was stuck in a tree with nowhere to go.
I afraid many a young person has spent their last few hours on earth were filled with the same wracking anguish.
I suppose I could condemn the Vice Principle who blew such pollution up the young man's ass. I'm certain he did not act with the intention of driving him to suicide. He simply had a powerful impetus to 'restore order' to the school, perhaps a bit of personal dislike for what he assumed the pro-immigrent rallys were all about. Between the endless cop shows, and that schlock Keifer Sutherland keeps lending his name and talent to; American's have no shortage of images wherein a figure with authority leans upon someone, 'leverages' then into compliance by threatening what they fear. Images of power, how they seduce. . .
I think this story gets under my skin cuz I have some small inkling of what it's like to be attacked for what you believe in. I also suffered from a bit of the nervous shakes from time to time in school. Even these days, once in a while a novel social situation makes me forget my groovy arrogance and start slipping into a bad place. So I can empathize - and empathy can hurt. If I didn't consider the sum value of their life experiences to be insuffient, on a day like today I could almost envy those who have grown callous against the suffering of those who are not of their family or race (or is it those who have not grown to be open to the suffering of so many others?)
I hope I didn't cross any lines with this posting. My sincerist condolences to any of his family members who might ever come accross this blog. I just tried to be honest.
I beginning to think that I have no right to blog about someone who I have never met at a time like this . . . maybe I should just delete this one . . .
Anthony Soltero helped organized and lead his schoolmates in one of the countless walk-outs that occured in his native California and all over the country this March. On March 30th, a vice-principle took him aside and allegedly told him that there would be consequences for his actions as a protest leader. He would not be allowed to attend the school dance. He would not be allowed to attend graduation. He was going to spend 3 years in prison. His parents were going to be fined and investigated.
The fourteen year old boy called his mother when he got home in a terrible state. She told him that they would talk about it when she got home from work. When she got home, she found his note and his body. He had taken his own life.
I know that no amount of liberal education reform will ever eliminate the tragedy of teen suicide. The hormones get to racing and their insides still have not cooled. Public schools can be one of the destructive social environments that an American will endure it their entire life. It still fucking sucks.
I had a good friend who hung himself in a detention room his junior year. The only memory I have of him that makes any sense of it is a Boy Scout summer camp we had attended years before. Ryan was an adopted kid, and a fair number of the older boys took to calling him a nigger and chasing him around throwing sticks and rocks. By the time I became aware of what was going on, he had climbed about thirty feet up into a tree; crying but safe from projectiles. My balls hadn't dropped yet, I didn't know what to do, eventually an adult scout leader yelled at him to quit screwing around and get down. I've always thought that's what happened to him again later, he just got overcome - he felt like he was stuck in a tree with nowhere to go.
I afraid many a young person has spent their last few hours on earth were filled with the same wracking anguish.
I suppose I could condemn the Vice Principle who blew such pollution up the young man's ass. I'm certain he did not act with the intention of driving him to suicide. He simply had a powerful impetus to 'restore order' to the school, perhaps a bit of personal dislike for what he assumed the pro-immigrent rallys were all about. Between the endless cop shows, and that schlock Keifer Sutherland keeps lending his name and talent to; American's have no shortage of images wherein a figure with authority leans upon someone, 'leverages' then into compliance by threatening what they fear. Images of power, how they seduce. . .
I think this story gets under my skin cuz I have some small inkling of what it's like to be attacked for what you believe in. I also suffered from a bit of the nervous shakes from time to time in school. Even these days, once in a while a novel social situation makes me forget my groovy arrogance and start slipping into a bad place. So I can empathize - and empathy can hurt. If I didn't consider the sum value of their life experiences to be insuffient, on a day like today I could almost envy those who have grown callous against the suffering of those who are not of their family or race (or is it those who have not grown to be open to the suffering of so many others?)
I hope I didn't cross any lines with this posting. My sincerist condolences to any of his family members who might ever come accross this blog. I just tried to be honest.
I beginning to think that I have no right to blog about someone who I have never met at a time like this . . . maybe I should just delete this one . . .
Comments:
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oh my goddess...is that true..where did you get the info..? i would like to read that..didnt see anything on the news about it at all...that is horrible...let me know..jackie
No, this is a good post. Don't delete it. It's true. Some authority figure threatening my ex-boyfriend back when I was 15. He committed suicide the next day at only 17 years old. I don't think adults realize how powerful and harmful their words can be sometimes.
I think this is a terrible tragedy and the Vice Principle needs to learn how to talk to youth in a different manner.
And yes, they restored all my blogs.
I think this is a terrible tragedy and the Vice Principle needs to learn how to talk to youth in a different manner.
And yes, they restored all my blogs.
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: Thursday, April 26, 2007 7:36:00 PM
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