Monday, May 22, 2006
Blogger, blog thyself
Gained some interesting insight into the inner world this weekend. Cindy was out of town for a wedding, and by some indecypherable combination of hotel rooms and family members - she was going to split a room with her sister who was also sans man. Thus the wolf had an entire weekend to recreate the bacholor lifestyle.
I lived on cold pizza. I drank milk right out of the carton. I ordered beer delivery.
There was something at the bottom of all that selfish indulgence that just began to creep into my conscious world late Saturday night. I needed some time to be alone.
Aurelius came into the version we see today by a long, lonely path. I was an atheist. I was a product of the television generation (so my social skills sucked.) I was an unrepentant addict of reading and my own imagination. I spent a good portion of my twenties as a single man. When I had a girlfriend, often she was just 'part time'; either deciding to hold onto her bets until I came around to loving jesus, or simply focusing more of her attention on school or a career at that phase of her life. Don't mean to depreciate anybody, I consider my emotional and sexual lives to have been very full and successful. Every one of those relationships had some real value that I'll retain for the rest of my life. But I'd grown accustom to being a man who walked alone.
Hermits have something that married men don't understand. If they be kick'n it down on Walden Pond, or they lurk in some mythological mountain range of the mind - they just come to know themselves in an honest, steady way. For couples, a vast amount of their understanding comes from being a part of something. Thoughts often enter into the mind that originated in her brain. Many responses are filtered by a system that has been conditioned to interact - when a squirrel runs accross your dirt floor, that might not require your mind to sidetrack and respond; when your woman remarks that you 'we are out of dishwasher detergent', that does require a response. Perhaps just a grunt.
After a day of solitude, one can glide back over one's mental landscape and find comfort. This is who I am. These are my thoughts that came from where ever into being in my head. I entertained and manipulated them for as long as I felt like. I reached my own conclusions.
Sometimes I can get caught up in the flurry of life. I'm hyperfocused on whatever the problems at work are, or I'm running all weekend to fulfil social obligations. My processor just stumbles from task to task, any gap between them filled with anxiety over running late or whatever. A weekend of solitude, of complete detachment from the world, and slowly a feeling of rightness creeps into the brain.
I'm a complex consciousness racing through the material world in a fragile package of human skin. Yet once in a while I can push my inner experience so far into the imaginative that I'm at as great of a distance from 'stimulus-response' as one can get.
Whatever. Perhaps I just needed a weekend to escape from the horrors being inflicted upon the people of America. I spent about two hours on Friday listening to public radio do their part to 'manufacture consent' around the notion that American's don't care about the NSA spying program. They'd rather be safe than have liberty, Ben Franklin can suck it, listen to us as we provide you with a truckload of voices expressing how unconcerned they are with the loss of their liberties. Public radio has generated a lot of emotions in me over the years, lately all it ever generates is shame.
Time's up.
Comments:
<< Home
yup.yup..yupper...
went to library today and checked out a bunch of books along the lines of the da vinci code...and asked henrietta (librian) is she had read it or seen the movie..she said 'of course not, i dont want someone to try and change the way i feel about Jesus...'and of course being unable to keep my mouth shut said.'you must not be too much of a christian if your worried about a book or a movie changing your views on Jesus'...it got so quiet..you could have heard a mouse fart...thanked her for my books and managed to get to my truck before i broke into hysterical laughter...
went to library today and checked out a bunch of books along the lines of the da vinci code...and asked henrietta (librian) is she had read it or seen the movie..she said 'of course not, i dont want someone to try and change the way i feel about Jesus...'and of course being unable to keep my mouth shut said.'you must not be too much of a christian if your worried about a book or a movie changing your views on Jesus'...it got so quiet..you could have heard a mouse fart...thanked her for my books and managed to get to my truck before i broke into hysterical laughter...
Cool blog, interesting information... Keep it UP » » »
# posted by 
: Thursday, February 15, 2007 6:25:00 AM
: Thursday, February 15, 2007 6:25:00 AM
Hello. Facebook takes a [url=http://www.onlineroulette.gd]casino online[/url] stick on 888 casino transport: Facebook is expanding its efforts to launch real-money gaming to millions of British users after announcing a give out with the online gambling associates 888 Holdings.And Bye.
# posted by : Saturday, January 19, 2013 12:19:00 AM
: Saturday, January 19, 2013 12:19:00 AM
[url=http://www.squidoo.com/longchampsoldesk]sac longchamps[/url] Keep in mind that deciding what your banner will look like and printing it are two different stages. Some sign companies can provide great graphic design assistance, in other cases you may want Best Mulberry Hand Clipper Bag Light Coffee for Men,Hot Selling In Our Mulberry Handbags Online Shop. to hire an independent graphic designer. Whoever helps you with the look of your banner, be sure to look at examples of their work and always ask for quotes before getting started..
[url=http://blog.livedoor.jp/longchampbagsd/]sac longchamp[/url] If you struggle and strain in the toilet, rectal veins will get enlarged and swell automatically. Thus it is highly important to take enough fluids and the diet with fiber foods. Hemorrhoid symptoms and bleeding will reduce slowly and you can find great change getting Mulberry big sale in our shop, welcome to shop for the Highly Appreciated Mulberry Women's East West Bayswater Printed Leather Shoulder Black Bag at discounted price, a variety of mulberry bags uk sale, all in high quality and reasonable prices. relief all the ways.
[url=http://longchamppliagea.simpleblog.org/]sac longchamp moins cher[/url] Which, when trying to negotiate a price of a stupid wallet is a long time. And after my shopping buddy got bored with our back-and-forth bartering and walked away Korean realllly shines when I in a shopping situation and I trying to get a bargain can BRING IT!) he told me (in Korean), okay. You get the pretty girl discount.. It turned out, that in various times of the lives, women pick different handbags and they also wear them differently. If a girl prefers big handbags, where whatever she can need in the daytime may be put, she is busy, creative and likes her job. Such women quite often gain Fabulous all the different styles of Mulberry Outlet Medium Alexa Leather Satchel Red Bag online supply success in business. When you look around the watch-world, many of the luxury designers go back hundreds of years. In fact, there are some companies that have been around for generations that have yet to create a respectable following. While a young company as far as watch companies go, Fossil have grown tremendously in the last 25 years and continues to be one the cutting edge of fashion without breaking the bank, a truly remarkable feat when one reviews the current timepiece-landscape...
Post a Comment
[url=http://blog.livedoor.jp/longchampbagsd/]sac longchamp[/url] If you struggle and strain in the toilet, rectal veins will get enlarged and swell automatically. Thus it is highly important to take enough fluids and the diet with fiber foods. Hemorrhoid symptoms and bleeding will reduce slowly and you can find great change getting Mulberry big sale in our shop, welcome to shop for the Highly Appreciated Mulberry Women's East West Bayswater Printed Leather Shoulder Black Bag at discounted price, a variety of mulberry bags uk sale, all in high quality and reasonable prices. relief all the ways.
[url=http://longchamppliagea.simpleblog.org/]sac longchamp moins cher[/url] Which, when trying to negotiate a price of a stupid wallet is a long time. And after my shopping buddy got bored with our back-and-forth bartering and walked away Korean realllly shines when I in a shopping situation and I trying to get a bargain can BRING IT!) he told me (in Korean), okay. You get the pretty girl discount.. It turned out, that in various times of the lives, women pick different handbags and they also wear them differently. If a girl prefers big handbags, where whatever she can need in the daytime may be put, she is busy, creative and likes her job. Such women quite often gain Fabulous all the different styles of Mulberry Outlet Medium Alexa Leather Satchel Red Bag online supply success in business. When you look around the watch-world, many of the luxury designers go back hundreds of years. In fact, there are some companies that have been around for generations that have yet to create a respectable following. While a young company as far as watch companies go, Fossil have grown tremendously in the last 25 years and continues to be one the cutting edge of fashion without breaking the bank, a truly remarkable feat when one reviews the current timepiece-landscape...
# posted by : Sunday, March 03, 2013 6:40:00 AM
: Sunday, March 03, 2013 6:40:00 AM<< Home
