Atheist Meditations

In a moment of Fancy, I've begun contemplating renaming the blog Atheist Meditations. Since Marcus Aurelius is so obviously my hero, and the habit of keeping a daily journal in which I transcribe my philosophical thoughts of the does fall into the pattern of Meditations. A blog is quite a bit like Marcus Aurelius' multi-volume work. His daily entries were often short. He sometimes took long absences from writing in his journal. He didn't go back over past entries and spell check them; develop them into more complete forms of prose. A day is a day, and a meditative journal entry is the same.

My meditations today began with me backing into the living room to attempt retrieval of the remote while avoiding the siren of T.V. Paused at the end of Stargate: Atlantis, the TiVo sputtered forward to prevent screen damage, Mad TV (is that fucking show always on?) In the four lines of ambiguous dialog, laugh lines, and brightly flashing screen; I can get sucked into that shit in seconds. I'll come downstairs to ask Cindy something, see a brightly stroboscopic car commercial and just slur into a slack jawed exhibit of primate fixation. My intellectual ego wrestles with the shame of it, but I am not the only one who has this flaw.

What a cruel, shitty thing Television is, and how tragic is it, that so many of our species revels in their subjection to it. Indeed, how many among us - if we had the fucking time for introspection - would not see themselves as horribly under-socialized. Interacting with strangers and acquaintances can be so damn tedious. Trying to anticipate their purpose, figure out where they are coming from, try to choose words that will engage them without requiring more explanation, avoiding postures and phrases that make you look stupid or weak. T.V. is the opposite. Energetic and stimulating (how different from so many of the human interactions we have) with the pleasant covenant that the focus of the attention will never suddenly turn on you.

Watch the fight without ever having to consider the bully turning to demand your milk money. Laugh at the ostracized girl without the nervous knowledge that you ain't cheerleader material either. You will never get betrayed in the boardroom, or have to produce witty chatter with a Love Interest in an elevator. Observation without trial. The stimulations of socialization without the learning curve.


I'm 32 years old now. Not a young pup, but with a fair amount of race and stamina left. I've wasted so much time on 'entertainment.' I've got so much more that I want to do. I need to be more productive.

Marcus Aurelius was in the blissful ignorance that his thoughts would ever be published and read. Yet their public distribution has been to the world's advantage. We bloggers sure have massive egos.