Atheist Meditations

I heard just a few lines about this on the local radio's news round-up, and I had one of those, 'What the fuck?!?' moments. I found the article in a Twin Cities ezine, about how evags are embracing I-35 as a 'Highway of Holiness.' It seems like a truly harmless chuckle, but then you watch the video from Pat 'liberals petitioned Satan for 9/11' Robertson's 'news' program and it ain't so funny anymore.

More video of blank-eyed young people enthusiastically spewing nonsense about 'Jesus moving in their hearts' and 'being called to public displays of God's power.' Mobs of children and young adults of slightly below average intelligence who have been given permission to act outrageous in public. Mass hysteria with a bible in one hand. This ain't Jesus' ministry they be following; it's the Bacchae.

If only I could I'd grab one of those poor,hapless, misguided kids and smack them around a bit: "When did you people decide that Jesus was a narcotic? When did being a follower of Jesus mean jumping around and tweaking your fucking adrenal gland?!? I've read the New Testament and I don't remember too many scenes with the apostles, the guys who actually hanging around with Jesus Christ, hopping around and whooping it up on the His good shit."

"What are you doing when you confront a stranger and try to convince him/her (all too often a child) that they need to pray right fucking now to feel the power of God? Your 'spiritual experience' has been reduced to feeling good. You people have devolved your god into nothing more stimulating than a shot of liquid viagra. Your behavior is fundamentally revolting."

"You are not feeling anything even remotely fucking associated with the spiritual or the divine. What you are doing is making an ass of yourself in public, and then pretending that the shame and humiliation you feel when strangers are taken aback by your ridiculous behavior is actually Jesus taking over your body. You are being overwhelmed by something, dumbass, it's called the fight or flight response - a legacy from the not to distant past when our ancestors were both predator and prey."

"All the bullshit surrounding 'Revivals' and being 'Born Again' is just pricks who have figured out how to use social stimuli to invoke an adrenal response. You poor fucks have conditioned yourselves to believe that the all the endorphins and adrenaline surging in your bloodstream somehow proves 'God loves you.' All it really proves is that you are a product of evolution."

"Why don't you shut the fuck up and try a little experiment. Go try bungee jumping. Better yet, spend the day before searching the internet for videos of people dying during bungee jumping mishaps and then bring your mother along on the day of to constantly tell you that she don't think it's such a good Idea. If you survive, when you're in the middle of boing, boing, boing, really ask yourself if that experience is any different from the first day you were 'saved.'

"It is time to stop acting like a child. If you want to remain a follower of Jesus' teachings - and hey, for the most part they're pretty good stuff - you have to do so like an adult."

If only I could reach more of those poor kids. Damn I feel sorry for them as fellow sentient beings. I also dread the society we'll create when we normalize that sort of asinine, self-indulgent, masturbatory behavior.

Labels: anti-ministry, current events, evags, Skepticism